3 Reasons To Forgive Yourself

#selflove #forgiveness #selfcare #thahighroad

1. You deserve it Babe:

Forgiveness is a widely misunderstood concept. Many times, we see forgiveness as something we do for others that hurt us and grapple with whether or not they deserve it. I'm here to tell you that forgiveness is a beautiful gift to yourself. You deserve the peace of mind that comes from letting go.

When it comes to forgiving yourself though, it becomes much harder. Because after all: you know better and what your standards are. So... how could you fail yourself? Because we hold ourselves at a much higher standard than we hold everyone else. While it is good to practice accountability and set high goals, infallibility (the idea that you must do everything right and never make a single mistake) is an unfair standard. It can make it really hard to forgive yourself when you expect perfection.

Realizing that I was too hard on myself was a hard lesson, but it's a necessary one. I had to accept the fact that I wasn't perfect (shocker!), and that its okay to make mistakes. Now, this might seem like a no-brainer to most people, but a lot of us do this. Often times, because we're at the receiving end of some unwanted behaviors, we strive to be anything but the people who hurt us, and that can sometimes backfire. Or at least it did for me.

In forgiving myself for the times I mistakenly trusted too fast, said mean things out of anger or made any other perfectly normal human mistake, I am able to learn from my mistakes and build the life that I want. It has become easier for me to make decisions and simply give myself permission to grow and learn. While this seems really simple, it was an AMAZING freedom for me understand that I can and will make a few bad decisions in life.

Here is one of my favorite quotes on the beauty of mistakes.

2. Relieving the Guilt allows you to move on.

I have learned (the hard way) that when you don’t forgive, you stay trapped in the same cycles. For me, admitting my own responsibility in a situation allows me to learn how to better approach the situation in the future. However, admitting my role means that some of the bad things in my life, were due to my own actions. The beauty in that is realizing that you have the power to change those things.

On the other hand, being reluctant to admit your role in the situation/forgive yourself, robs you of a valuable lesson. Try to set aside the fear or pain that comes with holding yourself accountable and focus on the lesson you're meant to learn.

The spirit of unforgiveness brings fear, anger and resentment into situations, whereas forgiveness brings peace, love and valuable lessons. Reflecting and forgiving your own shortcomings gives you the opportunity to work on them. If you practice understanding and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes, you become empowered to build your “to don’t” list.

3. Forgiveness is essential to your relationships.

One thing I have learned this year, is that forgiveness is the basis for all healthy relationships. I use “relationships” loosely and I refer to your relationship with yourself, your family, friends and romantic partners. I am learning that deep, fulfilling relationships require ALOT of forgiveness. During this season in my life, I want to intentionally strengthen my relationships, and one of the most important relationships in my life, is my relationship with myself. Knowing that I want to learn to love myself better, to be more understanding and to treasure myself more, I have to develop more forgiveness within myself. It is my hope that forgiveness of self becomes a daily gift, so that I can learn to freely give it to others.