“ A new thing”

Today marks the day that I realize life isn’t fair. Yes, I know I’m being super dramatic here, but bare with me. I need to vent a bit before I get to the point. Following my last post, and the experiences I’ve been having, I’ve got a lot to say. But first, let me start with this insightful quote I just posted on my ig story “2020 done gave me so many lemons, I’m ready to open up a lemonade stand”. All that means is that I’ve been getting challenged, so much so that I’m ready to make a killing off it. I played no games when I said I get excited about my challenges. When things get rough,I know something big is brewing.

My career is in its infant stages, and I am learning soooo dang much. I wanted to share four major points with you.

Be patient: Trust and believe , I don’t wanna hear anything about patience either. Butttttt, I’m learning that it’s essential. As someone who has been out of college for a year , I deserve some damn grace and patience. After taking a year off and actually making it back to school, like I said I would, its okay if things slow down. I found myself getting frustrated at how slow my career was growing, and annoyed that I wasn’t making a million dollars straight outta college. Like who Knew? This is embarrassing. To admit, but I expected that since I went to school and did the thins everyone told me would helpmeet grow in my career, that things would be smooth sailing. I blame some of it on being a first generation college student, and some on being a part of the participation trophy generation. Yup, I said it. As a first gen, I relieved the narrative of “go to college you’ll make a lot of money in no time”. Granted, having a degree does have its perks, but it does not delete the requirement of having experience. I found myself being frustrated that folks who worked half as hard as I did make significantly more than me. I judged them harshly, not considering the fact that they went through the same things I am gong through, and that it can be tiring.

I rejected cooperate culture, because had a different plan for me. Graduate college, struggle to find a job in my field , work for chump change and be glad that an agency is giving my rookie behind a chance. That was a harsh reality to accept. Hell, I’m still mad about that. At this point, I simply choose to accept it and roll with it. Also , I sorta expected to get compensated based on my work ethic, which is very wrong. I’m not gonna lie,I did find myself demoralized for bit, nut now that I reflect on it, I know that my work ethic is still valuable, even if it is not reflected in ways I expect. Seniority takes the cake. I kinda hate that now, but won’t feel the same when I’m the geezer in the room. It simply takes time, and consistent effort.

Be confident: In understanding that companies are motivated by their bottom line, not equity, I took things less personally. Q-TIP: Quit taking it personally. I have to rely on my own confidence. A company owes me a paycheck for my wrk, not my worth. That’s okay, I value me for who I am and so do my loved ones. Seek validation in the right places baby. I came to this conclusion when I asked myself “well what do you think you’re worth?”. I came to the realization that no company can pay me what I’m worth, because shidddd they can’t afford me babyyy. Nah but, it sucks. Learning how to base my worth on who I am as a person and not how much I make or the way a company sees me is essential. They are there for their check, and I am there for mine (and to serve of course ).

Be adamant: This one is by far the hardest. As someone who hates repeating themselves and any form of confrontation, I hate having to ask for what I need. I hate having to create structure when I expect it to be in place. I hate all of it. I am learning however to apply pressure. Not happy with working conditions ? Advocate. Not happy with salary ? Keep asking . Keep reminding these fools (lol not literally, just how I speak in rant mode). Be persistent in creating a life you will enjoy. Persevere through the trials you didn’t anticipate. Honestly, most times conditions stay dormant because people allow it. A company does not look into things nor they know the inner workings of it. No shade, just facts. There is adversity at every level, an dit is my personal job to make things more manageable for myself and others in my position.

Move like you have nothing to lose: this one sounds bit crazy, but hear me out. I am early 20’s. I am bright and. Whole bunch of other things. I have my whole life ahead of me. That empowers me to use my voice in a way that some people can’t. I have a lot of privileges that some people don’t. I am learning t take calculated risks. I am okay with things shifting, because I’m good either way.

Anyhooo, Thanks for coming to my talk and see you soon when I discuss how to negotiate as a woman.

Peace and Blessings,

Shaday