Ego Check 1-2-12

No matter how our self esteems manifests on the outside , the ego is always on 10. Cause why?? Deep down, we know the shiznittt. Now, you’re probably wondering what I’m ranting about this time. Lemme dial it back. Let's go!

One thing I’ve noticed with myself , is that I assume everyone will see me how I see myself. I see a queen, a gem, a prize. My ego prevents me from accepting that others don’t always see that. It tricks me into thinking everyone views me with the same lenses I view myself . Sorry to break it to you, but they don’t. Most people view themselves as the prize, and you’re auditioning for it, not the other way around. This is a healthy thought, because it helps us to measure how well others are going to fit into our lives. On the other hand, denying the fact that others value is differently than is problematic. I’ll explain why.

When we walk into situations expecting others to be on our wavelength, we risk disappointment. We risk bruising our egos, and even lowering our self esteem. I have learned, to Accept how others view me. That’s hard enough, but I’ve also taken it a step further, and sifted through people. If their view of me aligns with mine or embodies who Im becoming, they’re welcome to occupy space in my life. If their perception of me will cause me to lower my standards, then I respectfully remove myself. I will not, be auditioning for anyone.

I struggled with the last part. I used to want people to see me so badly. Really see me for who I am. So much so, that I poured out a lot, expecting recognition. It doesn’t work that way. As humans, we do make rush judgments, unfortunately. First impressions are lasting impressions. This means that if someone identifies as low value in their life, its unlikely that this will change. There is no point in jumping through hoops if we have already made our minds up at day. Thirsting for recognition tells me a few things about someone .

1. They are not firm in who they are. This is problematic as well. It places the unfair burden on outside forces to affirm you. People are busy with their own growth, why should they focus on yours and stoke your ego mama? . It’s no ones job to affirm me. That’s what I’m here for. This unrealistic expectation can create a sense of resentment when you’re jumping through hoops and receive nothing in return. No one told you to do that sis. Relax.

2.Secondly, it tells me that they don’t value themselves enough to enforce their standards. A part of expecting others to affirm our value, stems from not knowing our value in the first place. This allows people to dictate your worth. That’s the last thing I wanna do. No one knows me like I know me, so why would I give someone that level of power? Major dub.I'll admit, it's hard when someone does not value me how I do. Why? Because I have tow choices and I don't like either of them. One option is t stay in a situation that does not serve you, lowering your value. The other equally unpleasant one, is walking away from something you really wanted. Both suck, but as for me and my household, Ima take number 2.

Walking away from low vibration situations have taught me a lot. I shifted my perspective. It was not rejection, it was protection. I looked at it this way: am I willing to jump through hoops in the longterm and constantly try to prove my worth? No thanks, that sounds exhausting.I could channel that energy into improving myself. Also, in someone showing me how they prefer to treat me, I see what they really think. They are entitled to that, and I am entitled to walking away.

I can't mention walking away without mention a common barrier for leaving bad situations: Loneliness. Sometimes we settle for what we don't want, because we thing that's the best we can do. Nah Bihhh. There is so much more out there. You choosing to walk away gives you control of the situation. You chose yourself over time wasted. That's a power move if I ever saw one.

Anyhoo, as always: Thanks for stopping by.

Shaday