Follow through

These last weeks have been interesting to say the least. I went back to work on site, rekindled an old thang and started back with yoga. Now, you’re probably wondering why you should care about this. I’m getting there. Let’s zoom in on the return of old habits.

Sometimes going back is good. In the case of yoga, it’s something that’s been soothing my mind and body. Slipping back into that habit, was a plus. It increased my piece of mind substantially. However, other times going back is not the best idea. In the case of the old tingsss. There were reasons why it didn’t work the first time. Yes, I know that sometimes people grow up and improve. That’s lovely, more power to us when we do grow. In the same breath, I learned that closure doesn’t exist sometimes , and that recreating a situation that didn’t work, is like doing the same routine and expecting things to change. If it wasn't obvious enough yet: that’s madness. I will say though, that I learned something new about myself. I learned that I now know how to , and have the cojones to advocate for myself. I can honestly say " this is not what i want". "This is not working for me". "I would rather invest my time elsewhere". Now, does that mean I won't feel lonely and second guess my decision? No. Lol heck,I might even still dabble here and there of boredom. But, at least I know wassup.

Examine how returning to those old habits affects you. As I mentioned before, being back around old Tingss showed me that I rarely stopped to think about what I wanted in a person, because I was too busy being a "pick me". Yikes. I actually said it. The point is, I was so worried about being “it” for someone else, that I payed no attention to what “it” meant for me. I was not interviewing the people that came into my life. So, I hired the wrong person for the job. I operated from a place of potential, not the current situation. That my friends, was a disservice to me. When you view someone as their potential, you set both of y'all up. You will resent them for not living up to the expectations YOU created for them, They will resent you fro applying undue pressure. Major L.

Now, to actually address the topic of follow through. There will be certain habits and or situations that you know serve you, yet it’s so hard to follow through on developing those habits. I’ve been reading the same boom for about a month now. It’s not that I don’t have time, it’s not that the book is boring. I simply was being lazy and finding every excuse not to feed my mind. In the same way when something is not Serving you, you’ll know and still hold on to it.

I’ll know the job drains me, I’ll know the relationship is toxic, I’ll know the way I handle situations doesn’t honor my highest self, yet I stay stagnant. Why???

It all boils down to comfort. For a while, unhealthy relationships, eating habits , lack of movement and laziness was all I knew. As unhealthy as it was, it was comforting. Familiar. I liked it. At some point though, I took a minute. I played the tape forward (corny counselor sayings), and I saw what my life would look like if I stayed comfortable. That visual made me more uncomfortable than making small daily changes. So far, here are the things I’ve been doing to get back to my higher self.

Control my intake. This covers food, drink and media. Food and drink are essential for me. When I’m eating poorly , I feel sluggish and overwhelmed. It even seeps into my mental and I feel very low. Media intake is another big one. There is so much trauma going on right now, especially in the black community. It’s been weighing us all down. I’ll be honest, I did slip back into depression for a little bit. With the help of close friends and family, I dug myself out of that hole.I also mentioned drink, because when times get tough, it can become a coping mechanism. I don't want that for myself.Before making move ask: "is this honoring my highest self?" It will be hard at first, to look at the way your daily habits shape you, but once you see patterns, then you have the power to address them.

Take baby steps. With the gyms being closed, and just sitting at home for 3 months , I gained a whopping 15lbs. This means that working out is more strenuous. I enjoy it less. But I can’t let that stop me. I started with as many sets of (insert favorite calisthenic workouts)as I could tolerate and built myself up daily. I’ll be honest , once those lbs start dropping and my body moves better, I get excited to work out again. I know this, so I push through the initial phase of dreading it. Working out is a great stress reliever for me, plus I get a sexy body too?? Sign me up. Now does that mean I always want it? That wont stop me from getting to it though.

Do something new every day. As a way to keep growing, I challenge myself to do something new daily. It's usually something that makes me uncomfortable. It teaches me how to take risks. This is important for me because I am not done yet. I have not maxed out on my potential yet. This means new habits, connections and thought patterns are essential. It could be as small or as large as you feel comfortable with. Just try something new, you'll see that change isn’t the end of the world. It can be a good thing.

As Always,

Thanks for stopping by,

Shaday