How to get over the fear of being Happy & Successful

Recently I have been coming across an issue that I have battled with myself: fear of being happy or successful. That sounds kind of weird, right? Aren’t happiness and success the gold standards? Yes, they are but there are a few things at play here. The first one being that we aren’t truly afraid of happiness and success, we are afraid of losing those things.

One of the first ways to combat fear of losing happiness and success is by understanding that those things are fleeting. The average person does not walk around on cloud 9 all day, and every successful person got to their success by overcoming failures.

One of the great things about emotions (both the pleasant and unpleasant) is that they are temporary. By realizing that happiness is fleeting, we let go of the desire to feel happy all the time and simply exist as we are. It’s okay for happiness to wear off. We are actually hard wired that way in order to stay motivated.

Naturally, when we do things that make us happy, we crave more of it. Think of it this way: you taste a really great snack and you really enjoy it. You now try to find out where you can get some more and you go after it, so you can indulge once more.

So, imagine if happiness was one and done, what else would we have to strive for? Be glad that happiness is temporary motivator, savor the feeling, and truly live in the moment.

Think of it like this: when you get paid you only get to enjoy it for all of five seconds before bills and taxes snatches it away. In that case, you can either choose to celebrate getting paid for all five seconds, or be miserable because you never see the fruits of your labor. It’s your choice. Same concept with happiness.

When we feel truly content, fear sneaks in and steals it away. I had a few of my close friends share with me that they are never happy because whenever they are “something comes in and slaps it (happiness) across the table”. My immediate thought was “so…if you know this, why wouldn’t you hold it a little tighter?” I couldn't t understand why they wouldn’t protect that feeling and try to enjoy it.

Then I realized that clinging to happiness and striving for it is another beast in itself. I have learned that holding on too tightly to anything is the quickest way to lose it. Try to allow happiness and anything else that you value to flow freely in and out of your life. When you are sad, or even neutral, allow it to happen, cause honestly what else can you do?

Being able to truly feel all our emotions can be so empowering. It's honestly one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves. Allow yourself to be human, without judgements about our happiness (or other feelings), or the lack thereof.

So if you got nothing else from this post remember:

1. Kick fear in the ribs and take charge of your happiness fam!!

2. Let the good vibes (and the bad ones) flow.

3. Understand that nothing lasts forever (this especially when you’re not feeling you’re best. Better days will come, that is God’s promise to all of us.

Comment if you found something relatable or your favorite thing about this post.