Surviving grad school 101

Y’all, ya girl finally finished term one with stellar grades. In the spirit of transparency, I need to be up front. I struggled a lot at first and doubted my ability to handle school and work. Through this process I sacrificed a lot but learned even more.

The first thing I learned was to relax. I had so much anxiety. So much, so that I considered dropping out in the middle of one of my classes. I pushed through. Work was becoming more and more challenging, and school seemed like an added layer of stress. I dealt with imposter syndrome a lot in the first two weeks. Here is what the wiki folks have to say about this:

“Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubt their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".” Even though I was attending an awesome graduate program (which helped me a lot with my career), I felt fake as heck. Over time, I learned that the application process would have told me that. Being in that I was in the program, I was already qualified. Struggling and feeling uncomfortable does not disqualify me. Everyone feels that when they start something new.

The second thing I battled with was isolation. Naturally, I tend to do everything by myself with very little support. This is not sustainable, especially in grind season. I practiced asking for extensions if I needed them and saying “no” to things that hindered my progress. The realization that people (my peers, family, professors etc) actually wanted to help made me feel supported. It depleted my fear of rejection. In the past, I struggled by myself because I genuinely did not know how to ask for help and did not want to feel weak. I learned that we are social creatures who strive with support.

Finally, I learned that it’s okay to be scared. One of my favorite quotes goes like this:

“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway “

- Susan Jeffers

This quote has helped me through many life changing decisions. It taught me that fear does not stop, but it does not have the power to stop me either. I can be afraid and still submit that application. I can still start my website and Youtube channel with fear in my heart. That does not make me weak. It makes me human. If I wait until everything aligns or until fear disappears, nothing would get done.

Peace and Blessings,

Shaday