What if...

When you think "what if..?", what are the first thoughts that come to mind? For me, mine are usually pretty negative. What if I fail? What if this does not work? What if y'all think my writing is trash? That's perfectly normal, but fortunately, we can reshape our normals. I've found that shifting my thoughts drastically changes the game. It's second nature shame ourselves for our negative thoughts, but replacing those thoughts takes a bit of work.

Instead of chastising yourself for succumbing to fear, try substituting fearful thoughts with more productive thoughts. Instead of fear-based thoughts, try thinking: What if I succeed? What if things work out? Visualize it. Get your mind in the habit of expecting a positive outcome. Think about the feelings that will come up. How will you feel when things work out? Focus on every detail. What colors do you see, what smells are there, who are some people that will be around? In the same way that you forecast the negative outcomes and experience the fear, anxiety and disappointment of your failure, practice feeling the joy and satisfaction.

Now that you've envisioned a more desirable outcome, you can move on to the planning phase. Ask yourself what will it take to achieve the results you want? Write down small, time sensitive steps that will move you closer to your goals. When will you start? What materials do you need?

I've found it helpful to audibly affirm these outcomes. Try to make phrases like: "I am successful", "I am growing" and "I am working towards my goals" a part of your self-talk. This will feel pretty weird at first, but practice it until it becomes second nature.Be patient with yourself in the process. You're breaking a life long habit and it will take some time. Comment some of your positive "what if's".